These days, I really enjoy (or at least try to enjoy) foods like kale, almond butter and gluten-free baked goods.
As a kid, I wouldn’t get near anything green unless it was dyed that color.
Truth be told, I feasted on some pretty weird sh*t when my parents weren’t around to stop me, and I know I’m not the only one.
So, in honor of the ’90s and foods that were once incredibly delicious, here’s a list of nine foods you loved as a kid that were actually pretty gross.
1. Fun Dip
Do youreallywant to know what was in the stuff? OK, I’ll tell you.
A lot of really weird sh*t you can’t pronounce like dextrose, maltodextrin, corn syrup solidas, magnesium stearate and some fun dye names including blue 1, blue 1 lake, blue 2, blue 2 lake, red 40, red 40 lake, yellow 5, yellow 5 lake, yellow 6 and yellow 6 lake.
2. SpaghettiOs with Meatballs
To be honest, I still think SpaghettiOs are delicious. If someone put a bowl in front of me right now, I would dig in. But what was up with the kindwith meatballs?
The meatballstasted pretty good, but there was something very mysterious about the whole thing. In fact, those tiny little meatballs are packed with ingredients — chicken, pork, bread crumbs, soy protein concentrate, salt, dehydrated onion and garlic.
3. Apple Jacks
The main bone I had to pick with Apple Jacks cereal was that itdidn’t taste like apples, but italso wasn’tall that good for you.
Apple Jacks has a whopping 12 grams of added sugar. In fact, the first ingredientlisted on the cerealis sugar. Add ingredients like yellow 6 and red 40 and, well, no, it’s not exactly the wisest breakfast choice.
4. Bologna sandwiches
Sorry toanyone who’s still eating sad bologna sandwiches for lunch every day, because bologna has some sketchy ingredients.
Bologna can be made out of almost any meat — chicken, turkey, beef or pork and sometimes all four — and comes with “trimmings,” whichoften come from unmentionable animal parts.
Remember how excited you used to get when your parents were too lazy to make lunch and you got to have a Lunchable?
It’s too bad the foodsin those kind-of-expensive (and definitely bad for the environment) plastic boxes arefull of rubbery, downright gross meat. The ham is full of water and preservatives, the turkey has a ton of ingredients added to it — potassium lactate, modified corn starch, salt, dextrose, carrageenan and sodium phosphates, to name a few — and the bologna is “mechanically separated.”
6. Dippin’ Dots
The things that made Dippin’ Dots cool werethefuturistic look and taste. It was the “IceCreamof the Future.”
But why would you want to eat tiny balls of ice cream when you can have the real thing? The ingredients in Dippin’ Dots include corn syrup solids, cocoa processed with alkali, guar gum and locust bean gum.
7. Slim Jims
Slim Jims are super delicious and super sketchy. They have a lot of weird ingredients, the main one being something called mechanically separated chicken.
No disrespect if you still eat Jell-O (or at least take Jell-O shots), but it’s made of gelatin. According to PETA, gelatin is “a protein obtained by boiling skin, tendons, ligaments and/or bones with water. It is usually obtained from cows or pigs.”
Oh, and there are also artificial sweeteners in Jell-O. But we’re guessing that’s the least of your worries.
Even as a kid, there was always something about sipping on SunnyD that felt vaguely healthy. It was orange juice, after all.
Well, actually, it wasn’t. SunnyD is only 5percent juice and has close to60 grams of sugar per 16 ounces. Just to give you an idea of how much sugar that is, a 12-ounce can of coke has 35 grams of sugar.
Aren’t you glad you eat highbrow foods like tacos and cheeseburgers now? I thought so.